äppelmos

I guess my temper went awkward for about three weeks ago. It didn’t emerge slowly. It exploded, right after breakfast time Saturday the 23th of September. Like a bomb, the fuse about three week long, commenced at work first day on the new position. The picture is taken the day after 16th and I look pretty calm. I think it’s because I got my way in what to do that day. Like cooking applesauce. And that day being a not working-day.

It’s unbelievable how work could affect your life in the way of your emotions. Just sitting there, doing completely nothing. Right now this job I have irritate, bore and frustrate me to the bone. And to think of what job comes next makes it even worse. Day after day. Just filling me up and I have a hard time to channel it down to something manageable and to be able to let it off. Inside I’m blackened with tar.

I’m afraid I’m only letting it all off on one person and I can’t help it. As I start talking it all just runs over. Right now I don’t like myself. I don’t like the situation I’m in. And I have to admit I’m scared about what’s coming the second week after this.


And I find Hitler in my heart
From the corpses flowers grow

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